You know what this is, don't you...

You know what this is, don't you?
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Blogging
...it's a continuation of my freshman journal. For those of you who don't know, let me clue you in...We were required to keep a journal our freshman year and we were only graded on the fact that we wrote...not graded on the quality of the content, punctuation, grammar or anything else...It was liberating. It was something that I could absolutely get a high grade on and it was awesome.

There were days when I would write my ABCs and count to 1000 just writing numbers. But something happened over the course of time. I became bored with writing stupid stuff and I actually began writing. Because I knew I wasn't going to be graded (judged) on the content I began to open up. The next thing you know I was getting creative...very cool.

It was, for me, a beginning. It was my first taste of the word "unconditional." It was a concept I hadn't heard before, never mind experienced. I liked it. It tasted so new and liberating. I dared to be judged...I wrote cuss words in my journal just to see if it would get a reaction...NOTHING! I wrote stupid things...Nothing! No judgment just a teacher's initials signaling that I had done what I was asked to do. Write.

I loved it. (I still do) It's not that I am necessarily good at it, but I enjoy it.

My blogs are an extension of that writing. The only thing that has changed is that I don't care if I am judged or not...the funny thing is that NOBODY CARES!!!! Cares!!!! cares!!!
(that was an echo if you didn't know)

Nope, it's just me and my pen, er, ummm, keyboard and off I go. Emptying my mind of the things that clutter it. Eventually, I have a clear pond to look into with no leaves on top of it...and I reach a place that let's me write about truth and it is tasty. It is cool. It is clean. It is fleeting. But I don't care, because I know that feeling will come back.

You know what I'm talkin' about....in fact, you know more intimately than you may want to let on. It's as if you know me...and you do...don't you. You know that place in your mind, in your heart...where you have written with truth and clarity. We have met there once or twice. I remember a time so far away. But not so far away really. Like yesterday or the day before, but not so long ago.

I love to visit that place, sometimes in my head, sometimes in my heart...sometimes both places. I am even ok on the days in between, they are just like a dream. But I am ok, and I am patient between those days. I even cherish those in between days because I know that I will go back to that place...sometimes intentionally, sometimes not so much...but I savor it when I am there and am not sad when it goes. I know it will return...I know that now, but I did not know it back then. I don't know what it would be like to be there all the time...too much of anything isn't good, so it probably wouldn't be a good thing...Nope, I think I get just the right amount of time there.

You know what I'm talking about, and you know what this is don't you...this is a continuation of my journal...thanks and don't hesitate to let me know you are reading this...Rob